Garishly, Gin-Soaked Guesses
Considering last night with my colleagues featured many pints of St. James Gate's finest, a button-fly jeans snafu (the last thing I need after 11 beers is a restroom dexterity test) and the apparent karaoke-ing of "It's Raining Men" to win a bet (or at least I hope that's how those miscelleneous fives got in my pocket) I am going to keep this mercifully short.Overall: 6-6Sides: 4-2Totals: 2-4Chicago -10/43 The Seahawks have become like every debut, popular reality show. Matt Hasselbeck is the everyman turned star, Marshawn Lynch's Saints crushing run has gone viral and even sparked a Sporcle trivia game (http://www.sporcle.com/games/Eric92/beastmode) and the bandwagon's filling up faster than the last plane out of Tunis. But like most reality shows the bloom leaves the rose pretty quickly. We're thinking Joe Millionaire 2 here (yes, they really found 20 more women to fall for that). So with that in mind we're going to make one intrepid stab at sanity and say a 7-9 team will not host a Conference Championship and take CHICAGO and UNDER.New England -9/44 The Pats are like the original Law & Order of the NFL. Angie Harmon is replaced by that Nazi blonde and an assortment of non-descript brunettes, Jerry Orbach dies, Benjamin Bratt is off to the straight-to-video movie world, but still they keep chugging along. Brady/Belichick are like the Sam Waterson glue holding it all together while Welker, Wilfork, Branch, Mankins, Gostkowski and assorted other bit players are the rotating array of co-workers, bystanders and witnesses who can't seem to stop unloading that truck or signing requisitions while the detectives probe them about the homicide (it's a friggin' murder put down the pricing gun for a second and answer the questions). That said I just can't buy this squad as that dominant. No Randy Moss to spread the field, an adequate, but uninspiring run game and a well coached, but not overly talented defense do not a blowout make...or at least we're thinking that way. Add to it that the 45-3 drubbing on national TV a few weeks back puts us on the contrarian side and we'll take a shot with Footsie McRyan and the boys. How's JETS and UNDER sound (yeah, I'm not so sure either). Best of luck."Take an inch off the back and give me the Cousin It up front"